Over the years, we’ve learned a lot about divorces and why people break up. We’ve also talked to our friends, and they all have ideas of what they think is the no. 1 reason people break up.
Most people assume it’s because one person cheated, and infidelity does play apart in a lot of the cases our office handles. Sometimes it’s one-night stand, other times it’s an ongoing relationship. These affairs can be emotional, physical, or both. Sometimes the party that has been cheated on is the one that wants to make work while the other is ready to let go.
Another common assumption is that most break ups are over kids. One party wants them while the other doesn’t, or they have kids and it’s too much to handle. We have seen both of these play out, and divorce with kids is especially hard.
The real reason most couples break up is expectation. Many people go into marriage have expectations of what they want the relationship and the other person to be, and those expectations are often not met. Couples that last can adjust those expectations and work through the challenges, whereas for some couples it’s best just to end it right there. Unmet expectations can lead to cheating or misusing finances or other things that eventually drive the relationship to an end, but at the root of most divorces you’ll see that one person thought the other person would be something they just couldn’t’ be.
Even though the reason changes based on the couple, what we know for sure is that divorce is rarely a sad thing. People breakup because something is not working, so while divorce may be emotionally and financially taxing, truthfully, it usually is the for the best.